As the sun glistens in the Gallatin Valley and suntanned children saunter down Main Street in their shorts while others feverishly pedal their bikes, I'm reminded of the summer season.
Across America, people are lugging Rubbermaid containers out of their attics and closets to unearth the Mother of All Summer Fashion Treasure: capri pants.
Call them clam diggers (where I'm from), pedal pushers, or highwaters if you're a pimply teen who's grown a foot in the last year.
Whatever name you bestow upon these beastly pants, count me out of the picture.
For some reason, I've never quite understood the fascination with cutting your legs off with a swatch of fabric to reveal a body part most women otherwise disdain.
Yes, ladies, the cankle. Part calf. Part ankle. A cankle is when the calf and ankle have no clear definition...there's literally (and clearly) a 1:1 ratio of calf and ankle. The cankle has its roots in ancient times (circa 20th century) and is culturally referenced in websites (ihatecapripants.com) and even a Seinfeld episode.
I'm not the proud owner of a pair of cankles nor am I size 0, but intentionally selecting a pair of pants that draws attention to cankles is not a badge of courage. It's a cry for mercy.
So, please men (yes, men have cankles and wear manpris---the masculine version of capris) and women of America, put away the Capris and buy shorts or pants.
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