According to Websters.com, magic is "the art of producing illusions as entertainment by the use of sleight of hand, deceptive devices, etc.; legerdemain; conjuring: to pull a rabbit out of a hat by magic."
During the Christmas season, the "magic" of Christmas is on display for anyone who leaves the house. From fake snow to street ornaments to spectacular displays in the windows at Nordi's, Christmas is now a show rather than a meaningful time for most people.
Harried parents scour the mall searching for the hottest toy and in a few months when the next hottest toy comes out, the ghost of Christmas past laments his plastic scrap heap. We spend, spend, spend, only to realize that no matter how many presents we buy, we still feel empty and saddened by the fact that material items do not replace time, forgiveness, and regret.
So, as you wrap that perfect present or slave over that succulent supper, remember that Christmas does have meaning. And whether you're Christian or not, the meaning lies in treasuring those who are near and dear to us, and remembering those we have lost.
Let's take the magic out of Christmas and put the meaning back into it.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sorry Seems To Be the Easiest Word
I used to apologize for anything and everything.
I don't anymore.
Like "I love you", saying "I'm sorry" is overused and often used too early, too often, or too quickly. Apologies are issued with the efficiency of an instant message - without thought or care, sometimes, for purpose or meaning.
We apologize for being late even though we know we didn't make the effort to show-up on time. We apologize for making a mess (on the kitchen table, in the bathroom, fill in the blank), yet we left the mess in plain sight after we finished the task at hand. We apologize for suggesting an alternative work idea to what's planned when what is planned clearly won't work.
Those apologies are minor, I would think, compared to apologies that are leveled but never have any true meaning: apologies for affairs when it was clear the perpetrating individual carefully and coyfully rendered their getaway plans; apologies for being rude when aggressive and impolite behavior is the person's SOP; apologies for not living up to our responsibilities when it was clear we agreed to be responsible; and apologies for saying something hurtful when we didn't flinch as we uttered those words.
How many times have you said I'm sorry and actually meant it?
It's a knee-jerk reaction now to say you're sorry without even examining the actions that caused you to utter those words in the first place.
To me, I'm saving "I'm sorry". I will only use those words for something I unintentionally did and am truly sorry for.
I won't apologize for my ideas and thoughts; I won't apologize for being who I am - as I am not perfect and God never intended me to be so, so I won't even try.
And I won't apologize for not apologizing because I want the words to retain their meaning; I want those words to reflect their original intent - because before an apology is issued, I want my actions to speak for who I am as an individual and reflect the morals and values I hold dear to my heart. I want my actions to be clear, honest, and not hurtful.
I want my actions to not require those words because what's the point of apologizing if you keep repeating the same behavior only to hurt someone or even hurt yourself, or to reap success from someone's misery? What good are words with no meaning?
Otherwise, "I'm sorry" simply becomes that - words - and if that's the case, those words do not belong in my vocabulary.
I don't anymore.
Like "I love you", saying "I'm sorry" is overused and often used too early, too often, or too quickly. Apologies are issued with the efficiency of an instant message - without thought or care, sometimes, for purpose or meaning.
We apologize for being late even though we know we didn't make the effort to show-up on time. We apologize for making a mess (on the kitchen table, in the bathroom, fill in the blank), yet we left the mess in plain sight after we finished the task at hand. We apologize for suggesting an alternative work idea to what's planned when what is planned clearly won't work.
Those apologies are minor, I would think, compared to apologies that are leveled but never have any true meaning: apologies for affairs when it was clear the perpetrating individual carefully and coyfully rendered their getaway plans; apologies for being rude when aggressive and impolite behavior is the person's SOP; apologies for not living up to our responsibilities when it was clear we agreed to be responsible; and apologies for saying something hurtful when we didn't flinch as we uttered those words.
How many times have you said I'm sorry and actually meant it?
It's a knee-jerk reaction now to say you're sorry without even examining the actions that caused you to utter those words in the first place.
To me, I'm saving "I'm sorry". I will only use those words for something I unintentionally did and am truly sorry for.
I won't apologize for my ideas and thoughts; I won't apologize for being who I am - as I am not perfect and God never intended me to be so, so I won't even try.
And I won't apologize for not apologizing because I want the words to retain their meaning; I want those words to reflect their original intent - because before an apology is issued, I want my actions to speak for who I am as an individual and reflect the morals and values I hold dear to my heart. I want my actions to be clear, honest, and not hurtful.
I want my actions to not require those words because what's the point of apologizing if you keep repeating the same behavior only to hurt someone or even hurt yourself, or to reap success from someone's misery? What good are words with no meaning?
Otherwise, "I'm sorry" simply becomes that - words - and if that's the case, those words do not belong in my vocabulary.
Friday, August 21, 2009
South of the Boarder
We have seen them.
Dancing. Clapping. Cajoling us for our attention. Singing. Laughing. Pointing.
Was it a preacher trying to rise their congregation to their feet? An aging rock star in leather pants (with a pot belly to boot) begging the audience to scream because "I can't hear you!"? Or a toddler on the verge of a meltdown in the toy aisle at Target?
No. If this were a multiple-choice test, the answer would be (d) None of the above.
They're the people who stand on the corner with signs prostituting a nearby business's sales or wares. Or, as I've seen so much lately in the Portland area, a business's going-out-of-business sale.
As the rows of cars drive along the path to their plotted destination, these souls brave the heat, rain, and, let's admit it, humiliation that comes with having to make an uninterested group of people interested. I'm not sure if these poster children are a step above or below a telemarketer.
And therein lies the truth...
Despite what any arrogant asshole in their air-conditioned car thinks, I give them a lot of credit. How many of us would stand on a corner to dance, clap, sing, or point for what probably isn't a lot of money?
Any takers?
I thought so. So, the next time if some person in a yellow chicken suit waves to you while standing in 90-degree weather while you wait at the red light in a comfortable seat while being blasted with cold air, wave back.
Dancing. Clapping. Cajoling us for our attention. Singing. Laughing. Pointing.
Was it a preacher trying to rise their congregation to their feet? An aging rock star in leather pants (with a pot belly to boot) begging the audience to scream because "I can't hear you!"? Or a toddler on the verge of a meltdown in the toy aisle at Target?
No. If this were a multiple-choice test, the answer would be (d) None of the above.
They're the people who stand on the corner with signs prostituting a nearby business's sales or wares. Or, as I've seen so much lately in the Portland area, a business's going-out-of-business sale.
As the rows of cars drive along the path to their plotted destination, these souls brave the heat, rain, and, let's admit it, humiliation that comes with having to make an uninterested group of people interested. I'm not sure if these poster children are a step above or below a telemarketer.
And therein lies the truth...
Despite what any arrogant asshole in their air-conditioned car thinks, I give them a lot of credit. How many of us would stand on a corner to dance, clap, sing, or point for what probably isn't a lot of money?
Any takers?
I thought so. So, the next time if some person in a yellow chicken suit waves to you while standing in 90-degree weather while you wait at the red light in a comfortable seat while being blasted with cold air, wave back.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Black and White and Read All Over
As a child, I was fascinated by magic tricks and practical jokes. So, whenever I picked-up a new book of jokes, I experienced nirvana in its pages. I had new material that actually made sense and had the source document to use and prove it!
One of the jokes I remember fondly from childhood:
Q. What's black and white and read all over?
A. A newspaper.
Today, our news sources are varied and certainly (most are) no longer material in the physical sense. The web became a breeding ground of news sources - both verified, unverified, fabricated, and researched - and spread like a massive infection in a compromised immune system.
In other words, like wildfire.
What continues to surprise me is how people read things online (whether on a website or in an email) and continue to believe something is true even if it's been refuted publicly. Is this a result of ignorance? Laziness? Lack of curiosity? All of the above?
When the war in Iraq began, our relations with France became strained due to their lack of support with our administration in the "fight for freedom." French fries were blacklisted (although French fries were actually invented in Belgium and the "French" comes from the technique you use to actually make them, but I digress). Target became blacklisted by some individuals, too - I happen to know some - boycotting the store because it was a French company. I wonder what HQ in Minnesota thought about that?
How did this happen? For several years, Target was known as being an upscale version of Wal-Mart. To add to this allure, some people adopted the saying, "Tar-jay," to make Target sound cosmopolitan, international. They made it sound French with the same authenticity and verve that Pepe Le Pew possessed in his come-ons to that sweet, attractive female skunk. With the war, Tar-Jay was no longer cosmopolitan or international, it was foreign. Heck, they probably should've painted those red bulleyes red, white, and blue - colors of the French flag, if you don't know.
I hate to have to hammer this home, but I still see it happen so many times...
The web is a breeding ground for lies and untruths, so if something seems odd when you read it, research it - on the web of course - to see if it is actually true.
Then again, I think back to what the famed architect Frank Lloyd Wright said, "Truth is more important than facts," meaning one can always provide facts but it's not necessarily the entire truth. Another example is when you testify in court, you swear to tell the truth (that which is true), the whole truth (not just part of the truth; for example, an adulterer can say his mistress is his friend but not say he's sleeping with his friend so to some degree, he's telling the truth, just not the whole truth); and nothing but the truth.
Then again, Frank Lloyd Wright had a notorious reputation for being an adulterer and according to all those emails, Al Gore did invent the Internet. (He actually said he "took the initiative in creating the Internet," but who is checking?)
So, search for the truth and not just facts. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. And remember, you don't need to rip-off your clothes in a phone booth (not that you'd find one) to reveal your red cape and blue suit to help you in the cause to preach truth, justice, and the American way.
All it takes is the tip of a finger to delete the aforementioned emails.
One of the jokes I remember fondly from childhood:
Q. What's black and white and read all over?
A. A newspaper.
Today, our news sources are varied and certainly (most are) no longer material in the physical sense. The web became a breeding ground of news sources - both verified, unverified, fabricated, and researched - and spread like a massive infection in a compromised immune system.
In other words, like wildfire.
What continues to surprise me is how people read things online (whether on a website or in an email) and continue to believe something is true even if it's been refuted publicly. Is this a result of ignorance? Laziness? Lack of curiosity? All of the above?
When the war in Iraq began, our relations with France became strained due to their lack of support with our administration in the "fight for freedom." French fries were blacklisted (although French fries were actually invented in Belgium and the "French" comes from the technique you use to actually make them, but I digress). Target became blacklisted by some individuals, too - I happen to know some - boycotting the store because it was a French company. I wonder what HQ in Minnesota thought about that?
How did this happen? For several years, Target was known as being an upscale version of Wal-Mart. To add to this allure, some people adopted the saying, "Tar-jay," to make Target sound cosmopolitan, international. They made it sound French with the same authenticity and verve that Pepe Le Pew possessed in his come-ons to that sweet, attractive female skunk. With the war, Tar-Jay was no longer cosmopolitan or international, it was foreign. Heck, they probably should've painted those red bulleyes red, white, and blue - colors of the French flag, if you don't know.
I hate to have to hammer this home, but I still see it happen so many times...
The web is a breeding ground for lies and untruths, so if something seems odd when you read it, research it - on the web of course - to see if it is actually true.
Then again, I think back to what the famed architect Frank Lloyd Wright said, "Truth is more important than facts," meaning one can always provide facts but it's not necessarily the entire truth. Another example is when you testify in court, you swear to tell the truth (that which is true), the whole truth (not just part of the truth; for example, an adulterer can say his mistress is his friend but not say he's sleeping with his friend so to some degree, he's telling the truth, just not the whole truth); and nothing but the truth.
Then again, Frank Lloyd Wright had a notorious reputation for being an adulterer and according to all those emails, Al Gore did invent the Internet. (He actually said he "took the initiative in creating the Internet," but who is checking?)
So, search for the truth and not just facts. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. And remember, you don't need to rip-off your clothes in a phone booth (not that you'd find one) to reveal your red cape and blue suit to help you in the cause to preach truth, justice, and the American way.
All it takes is the tip of a finger to delete the aforementioned emails.
The Importance of Being Earnest
I have tried to live my life (to paraphrase Einstein) as if each moment were a miracle. However, the reality is most humans are average, including myself. Don't get me wrong, I believe we have moments of greatness, but I would never put my golf game on par with Tiger Woods; my walk down the avenue of outdoor adventure with Picabo Street; or my generous (not quite saintly) nature to Mother Theresa. Individuals who truly define and become synonymous with their area of expertise and/or brilliance allow us to strive for and achieve more than we could ever expect of ourselves and, perhaps, each other.
In fact, it is our bursts of greatness and our procilivity to pitfalls that make us human. (You can see the little guy in Pitfall losing his grasp on the rope across the row of crocodiles right now.)
What strikes me, however, is how the proliferation of technology has created applications that encourage us to throw modesty (in the altruistic sense) to the wind and unveil a naked body comprised of silicone parts.
Sound funny? Does it not make sense. Well, let me back up...
MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter. All have opened the lines of communication for many, but is it for the collective good? I was at the salon the other day, and this woman in her late 50s insisted Facebook allowed her to keep up with her family because she could just log in, type an update, chat, or respond to an email. I said I could agree with her on that; however, is it really necessary to know what someone is doing at that very moment in time? Is it that important, let alone interesting?
It seems we are building ourselves up to be more important than we actually are - we are becoming silicone parts - sure, the parts look good and everything we say sounds good, but is it original? If it is original, how interesting is it, and do people really want to know you are cleaning your toilet at 3 a.m. with a toothbrush?
In a world where trophies are awarded to children who finish fourth, and self-esteem is a multi-tiered approach to making sure someone's feelings aren't hurt, I question how great apps like MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter are because they encourage us to embrace narcissim with open arms. They encourage us to reveal everything about ourselves and more - just click here.
I won't lie and tell you I've never used any of these apps before, but I prefer to connect with people in the flesh and on the phone (when geography makes it impossible). It's just I am beginning to wonder where real life ends and the electronic tether begins.
I'll have to think about that some more. If I were religious about updating my status, I'd tell you I'm heading to the bathroom but maybe I won't. But, wait I just did, so I guess that makes it interesting. Wonder what happens when Heidi Klum or Brad Pitt takes a s@#$ and they Twitter about it.
In fact, it is our bursts of greatness and our procilivity to pitfalls that make us human. (You can see the little guy in Pitfall losing his grasp on the rope across the row of crocodiles right now.)
What strikes me, however, is how the proliferation of technology has created applications that encourage us to throw modesty (in the altruistic sense) to the wind and unveil a naked body comprised of silicone parts.
Sound funny? Does it not make sense. Well, let me back up...
MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter. All have opened the lines of communication for many, but is it for the collective good? I was at the salon the other day, and this woman in her late 50s insisted Facebook allowed her to keep up with her family because she could just log in, type an update, chat, or respond to an email. I said I could agree with her on that; however, is it really necessary to know what someone is doing at that very moment in time? Is it that important, let alone interesting?
It seems we are building ourselves up to be more important than we actually are - we are becoming silicone parts - sure, the parts look good and everything we say sounds good, but is it original? If it is original, how interesting is it, and do people really want to know you are cleaning your toilet at 3 a.m. with a toothbrush?
In a world where trophies are awarded to children who finish fourth, and self-esteem is a multi-tiered approach to making sure someone's feelings aren't hurt, I question how great apps like MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter are because they encourage us to embrace narcissim with open arms. They encourage us to reveal everything about ourselves and more - just click here.
I won't lie and tell you I've never used any of these apps before, but I prefer to connect with people in the flesh and on the phone (when geography makes it impossible). It's just I am beginning to wonder where real life ends and the electronic tether begins.
I'll have to think about that some more. If I were religious about updating my status, I'd tell you I'm heading to the bathroom but maybe I won't. But, wait I just did, so I guess that makes it interesting. Wonder what happens when Heidi Klum or Brad Pitt takes a s@#$ and they Twitter about it.
Monday, February 2, 2009
It's All About the Benjamins: Going Green in 2009
This year, I'm making it my sole goal to ramp-up my net worth. So, I'm looking at ways of doing so. In the past, I've taken second jobs teaching, working in customer service for a lawyer's retail company, and designing websites. While I do not plan on getting a second job, I am now contracting, and hope to take the increased income and parlay it into achieving my goal.
I read a finance book this weekend that featured a quote basically stating (to paraphrase) that people who do not care about or appreciate money usually do not have it.
I thought about this and wondered why some believe money is bad or the root of evil. Having money allows people the freedom to pursue their interests, yes, but it also affords them the opportunity to help those less fortunate. Therefore, a second part of my goal for increasing my net worth is to help those who need help.
Before you get all kharma on me and say that my wanting to help is part of the pay-it-forward movement, I want to state that in the past (not that I need to justify it), I've always volunteered my time. I've worked with the Red Cross, Girl Scouts, Make-a-Wish Foundation, and several other non-profit organizations. In the past, I've also donated money, but that was more along the lines of sponsoring someone in a walk for cancer or juvenile diabetes. This year, as part of my plan, I want to donate a set amount of money to a charity every month and continue until this mortal coil slips away into the furnace for cremation and distribution amongst the various parts of this gorgeous country.
What steps am I taking to achieve my goal?
1. Only paying cash for purchases. Once it's gone, it's gone.
2. Refusing to charge anything. Easy because I hate using my credit cards; I've cut-up one and saved one for emergencies only. However, emergencies will be addressed with cash first - unless I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere and can't get to an ATM wherein the emergency costs more than my daily withdrawal limit. ;^)
3. Continue to reduce the times I eat out and continue cutting portions. In the last 18 months, I've seen my weight drop 55 pounds as a result of a lifestyle change and desire to get back to what I used to be. This is just another piece in the puzzle to help me not only continue my health odyssey, but also save money in the process.
4. Reduce what I spend on gifts. Ask anyone who knows me, I love giving. Plain and simple. However, I've stopped sending out cards and gifts for every Hallmark holiday.
5. Increase my job skill set. We've all been there. We get comfortable in our careers; when did I stop being so hungry for advancement? In the fall, I plan on taking a course towards a degree that will provide better opportunities and allow me to acquire more skills to advance my career. Michaelangelo said, "I am still learning." I want to continue learning, as it certainly can't hurt - what hurts is when you stop learning.
There are more things I plan to do in the coming year, but these are the main steps I am taking. I hope that going green in 2009 is more than a statement but actions I pursue and complete.
Because frankly folks, it is all about the Benjamins.
I read a finance book this weekend that featured a quote basically stating (to paraphrase) that people who do not care about or appreciate money usually do not have it.
I thought about this and wondered why some believe money is bad or the root of evil. Having money allows people the freedom to pursue their interests, yes, but it also affords them the opportunity to help those less fortunate. Therefore, a second part of my goal for increasing my net worth is to help those who need help.
Before you get all kharma on me and say that my wanting to help is part of the pay-it-forward movement, I want to state that in the past (not that I need to justify it), I've always volunteered my time. I've worked with the Red Cross, Girl Scouts, Make-a-Wish Foundation, and several other non-profit organizations. In the past, I've also donated money, but that was more along the lines of sponsoring someone in a walk for cancer or juvenile diabetes. This year, as part of my plan, I want to donate a set amount of money to a charity every month and continue until this mortal coil slips away into the furnace for cremation and distribution amongst the various parts of this gorgeous country.
What steps am I taking to achieve my goal?
1. Only paying cash for purchases. Once it's gone, it's gone.
2. Refusing to charge anything. Easy because I hate using my credit cards; I've cut-up one and saved one for emergencies only. However, emergencies will be addressed with cash first - unless I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere and can't get to an ATM wherein the emergency costs more than my daily withdrawal limit. ;^)
3. Continue to reduce the times I eat out and continue cutting portions. In the last 18 months, I've seen my weight drop 55 pounds as a result of a lifestyle change and desire to get back to what I used to be. This is just another piece in the puzzle to help me not only continue my health odyssey, but also save money in the process.
4. Reduce what I spend on gifts. Ask anyone who knows me, I love giving. Plain and simple. However, I've stopped sending out cards and gifts for every Hallmark holiday.
5. Increase my job skill set. We've all been there. We get comfortable in our careers; when did I stop being so hungry for advancement? In the fall, I plan on taking a course towards a degree that will provide better opportunities and allow me to acquire more skills to advance my career. Michaelangelo said, "I am still learning." I want to continue learning, as it certainly can't hurt - what hurts is when you stop learning.
There are more things I plan to do in the coming year, but these are the main steps I am taking. I hope that going green in 2009 is more than a statement but actions I pursue and complete.
Because frankly folks, it is all about the Benjamins.
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